Blog
11.04
NewsCorp Puts MySpace on Notice, Pets.com Sock Puppet Comes Out of Hiding to Offer Consolation
Pets.com Sock Puppet So, how ya' feelin'?
MySpace Mood: Crappy
Pets.com Sock Puppet I read on my Kindle that Murdoch has put you on notice in light of unsustainable losses this quarter.
MySpace You can browse the web on a Kindle? Who uses those?
Pets.com Sock Puppet The great part is that I can't see color, so it doesn't matter that the Kindle display is so ridiculously subpar.
MySpace (no response)
Pets.com Sock Puppet I read you are losing tons of money. If it helps, I have a sh*tload of Flooz that I can invest.
MySpace (begins weeping)
Pets.com Sock Puppet No, no, don't cry! Here, let's put some music on. Do you have somewhere I can plug in my Zune?
MySpace The thing is, we totally redesigned our site last week and it doesn't seem to have made a difference.
Pets.com Sock Puppet I saw that and totally agree. The design is like, totally dominated with ads. It's like one enormous giant eclipse of an ad overwhelming everything you see until you are practically blind. It's like, can't they see that ads are all you care about? I have no idea why you aren't making money off of MySpace when advertisers should clearly understand your preference of ad revenue over users.
MySpace That's probably not how we would describe our design philosophy.
Pets.com Sock Puppet I mean, who cares about Facebook? It's totally going to die eventually too, just like you are right now, dying right this second, withering away like social media's unused limb.
MySpace (no response)
Pets.com Sock Puppet You wanna join my Facebook group?
MySpace (silence)
Pets.com Sock Puppet The Zune has a MySpace profile. That's gotta make you feel better since you're supposed to be all about music now, right?
MySpace Actually...
Pets.com Sock Puppet I searched MySpace for pets.com but the only result I got was this weird lady that makes life-size dogs out of cardboard and Elmer's glue.
MySpace We don't really want to make negative comments about our users...
Pets.com Sock Puppet Right, because they both might get mad and leave. Ha! Sorry. So anyway, if you want to walk your cardboard dog, you can totally order it with wheels. Wheels! She's 41 and single, the cardboard dog lady. I can't imagine why.
MySpace We really need to get back to work.
Pets.com Sock Puppet Can I offer you a drink for the road? Tab? Crystal Pepsi?
MySpace (no response)
Pets.com Sock Puppet Wasn't last decade like, totally way better than this one?
MySpace Totally.
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