Blog
08.01
This is the suckiest job in PR to date
If you're a flack, you can imagine several scenarios that wouldn't tickle your fancy.
It could be a client that didn't share your morals. Possibly, you have experienced a point-of-contact who was directly below a bill collector on your Christmas list? Regardless the discontent and drama, the UK Daily Mail has discovered the worst PR gig. Ever.
How would you like to be Moammar el-Gaddafi's PR director?
Well, if bat-ess crazy Libyan dictators are your thing, he wants you! Evidently, his search for such a super flack has landed him in NYC.
In a bizarre email scouting for candidates, the country's Ministry of Information also claims the NATO strikes [in Libya this past May] were caused by a "PR attack" - rather than the slaughter of innocent protestors.
How much would your retainer have to be to represent this guy? Would it even really matter?!
I think with the new debt ceiling being raised, there still isn't enough ink in the U.S. Treasury's press to print enough cash for this gig.
Think about the top five things that would be routinely on your plate and would ever be on that "rollover" item on your to-do list:
1. A 42-year reign of terror.
Never mind that he rules the country and that coin could buy you that new car you've been eyeing. That's some serious cash with a voice. And to think, his era began with him relinquishing the title of prime minister in 1979 because he wanted to be known as the "Brother Leader and Guide of the Revolution." Catchy, right? And think about that sweet name plate on his desk.
2. You are the company you keep.
We all have that crazy uncle. You know, the dirty old man who gets trashed at the family reunion and forgets he is 80 as he cuts a rug with that one good leg telling all your younger cousins, "You ladies couldn't handle this." Well, Uncle Moammar has even crazier pals. Guys like Yassar Arafat and Hugo Chavez - real Thanksgiving dinner dudes. And, if that's not all, he considers Che Guevara and Kim Jong-Il cats that he admires. A real "Bring home to Mama" this guy.
3. The facial hair.
Seriously? And he's down with that look? Moving on.
4. Managing up.
A good PR professional will consider the bigger picture and sometimes debates advising a client against his or her better thoughts. Now, do that for Captain "Few fries short of a Happy Meal." His letter to NYC firms continued to say:
"We have good moral, political and legal logic supporting our position as the legitimate, sovereign and popular government of Libya. We also have proofs [sic] in written, audio and video forms to take our case forward."
Right. Good luck with that.
5. You would never get paid.
Invoices are legal documents. Everything on them must be correct. So, I got $5 to the first national journalist to agree with a colleague on how to spell Khadafy's... Qaddafi's... Gaddafy's... this fool's name.
And for the firm that takes on this job, Quills and Anvils for everyone. (Not like you will get to enjoy them, but what the hey, it's close to Christmas.)
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